“Sadness is more or less like a head cold- with patience, it passes. Depression is like cancer…” - Barbara Kingsolver
It was already 1.15 a.m. The Balinese music in the background brought peace to the still of night. While holding each other close, the tranquility of the night relaxed our tired bodies, soothed away the muscle aches. The pain of the body is often bearable, not so is the pain of the heart.
At a lost and not knowing what to do, the feelings of confusion and isolation haunted me. As always I refrain from showing my emotions, but tonight, these silent tears I want to share with him. We reflected on the past, happy and sad and talked about the hectic upcoming events ahead of us.
The excitement of planning and preparing for Iwan’s wedding reception, the priority for our presence at both Iwan’s and Sara’s convocations, which dates fall on the same weekend. The concern for Sara to attend her PTD assessment training at INTAN in Kluang just days before we fly for our Umrah and holiday in Abu Dhabi. The feeling of disappointment when Iwan and Ella couldn’t join us for the Umrah and holiday as Iwan is unable to obtain approval for long leave. The grief that Ja is no more here to be with us and share all these excitements.
Tonight before we went to sleep he recited a very nice poem by Max Ehrmann. It is about attaining happiness and true reflection of life...
Desiderata
Go placidly amid the noise and the haste,
and remember what peace there may be in silence.
As far as possible, without surrender,
be on good terms with all persons.
Speak your truth quietly and clearly;
and listen to others,
even to the dull and the ignorant;
they too have their story.
Avoid loud and aggressive persons;
they are vexatious to the spirit.
If you compare yourself with others,
you may become vain or bitter,
for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself.
Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans.
Keep interested in your own career, however humble;
it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time.
Exercise caution in your business affairs,
for the world is full of trickery.
But let this not blind you to what virtue there is;
many persons strive for high ideals,
and everywhere life is full of heroism.
Be yourself. Especially do not feign affection.
Neither be cynical about love,
for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment,
it is as perennial as the grass.
Take kindly the counsel of the years,
gracefully surrendering the things of youth.
Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune.
But do not distress yourself with dark imaginings.
Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness.
Beyond a wholesome discipline,
be gentle with yourself.
You are a child of the universe
no less than the trees and the stars;
you have a right to be here.
And whether or not it is clear to you,
no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.
Therefore be at peace with God,
whatever you conceive Him to be.
And whatever your labors and aspirations,
in the noisy confusion of life,
keep peace in your soul.
With all its sham, drudgery, and broken dreams,
it is still a beautiful world.
Be cheerful. Strive to be happy.
(Max Ehrmann 1927 )
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