Taiwan Pre-travelling blues…

"There is always a reason to wipe the smile from my face..."

(The Sun Moon Lake in Taiwan)

And I realize that it's just a few days away from my Taiwan trip.

My days are chaotic. Workloads are choking me and my life is spinning out of control. When things get crazy and life feels too much, I look forward to tomorrow. Things might not get better, but there is the great promise that it can. Maybe it will get worse - I don’t know. Friends said that this trip is good for my tired body and restless mind. When the time comes, I'm going to step aboard that plane and head for the sun. I don't know what I'll see there and I don't know what I'll find.

But I'll try find my peace of mind...

My Overseas Travel Reflections: Fun-taiwan-2010

Take a step towards me...

"Poetry spills from the cracks of a broken heart, but flows from one which is loved..." - Christopher Paul Rubero

(1977 - ITM Hostel Open Day...)

While spring cleaning the study, I came across an old tattered and frayed diary of 1977/1978 nestled among the stack of anatomy and management books.

Half the diary was written by dear husband and the other half by me. Reading the diary brought back memories, both happy and sad. We were in our final Diploma years in ITM. There were lots of lovey dovey exchange between two young hearts…

Back then I was already into poetry.

I don’t know exactly
where our love went wrong

There’re so many things

we both can blame it on

I only know this heart of mine

don’t want somebody new

And if you take a step towards me,

I’ll run a mile to you…

(11 October 1977)

Escape at midlife...

"This self-generated sentiment is something I would write when I am in a shit mood..."

It was just my jocular way of saying that I am feeling lousy, depressed and miserable. But, if I go any further, I will have to start looking for my shrink for therapy...

Escape at midlife, reckless and clean,

A new adventure, a change of scene.
A gnawing craving, to look and see,

to deceive fate, to search for me...

Another sunset, another dawn,

Another chance, to caress the sun.
Escaped at midlife, but nothing changed,

A few things moved, and rearranged...

I Am Earthbound...

"Nobody really care if you're miserable, so you might as well be happy..."

(I want to fly away)

'But as of late,

on borrowed wings

and wistful dreams

old flights of fancy

have reappeared.

With greater frequency, I fear.

Where do I go
when I take flight,

when I drift gently

into the night?

(Unknown author)

Power of Love...

"Love without life loses its meaning..."

Intelligence without love makes you perverse.
Fairness & justness without love makes you inflexible & stern.
Diplomacy & tact without love makes you a hypocrite.
Success without love turns you arrogant.

Wealth without love makes you mean & tight–fisted.
Poverty without love turns you into a radical.
Beauty without love makes you capricious.
Authority & power without love lead to tyranny.

Labor without love turns you into a slave.
Naivety without love deprives you of values.
Prayer & worship without love turns you into a egotist.
Faith without love turns you into a fanatic.

My New Year resolutions...

"Forget about what you thought you were and just accept who you are..."

(My life at extreme ends)

Last night, I was listing my New Year resolutions – I got a few – be a good person, be a good wife, be a good mother, be a good boss, so on and on...

This morning, while still under the comforter, it didn’t take much longer for my be good resolution to bite the dust. What had seemed such a great idea last night was – in the warm light of the morning, today – becoming an altogether dicey prospect. Just fraught with pitfalls it was. I can feel that my resolve begin to drain away. By the time I finished typing this, all my New Year resolutions will go down the drain. So what's left? I knew for certain I couldn’t go through with them. There were heaps of reasons why not.

This year, I will try giving resolutions a rest and just do my best. I can't always get what I want, but if I try sometime, I just might get what I need.