About Me

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I am married to my loving husband for more than 38 years now. I am a mother to 3 beautiful children, until 11 years ago when I lost my youngest son. Since then my life is forever altered but yet unbroken....

Wednesday, 30 March 2005

I'll be there...

“Life is pain. Anyone who says differently is selling something...” - William Goldman

Hubby came home around 4 a.m. from Penang after attending a seminar there. Must have left Penang very late last night. I woke up very early and let him sleep on….

When the one you care about the most,
Could care less about you
When the one you gave your heart to,
Throws it in your face
I’ll be there….

Sunday, 27 March 2005

Larvae invasion...

“You gain strength, courage and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face...."

We went to Pertama Kompleks to change the buckle of my handbag. Also sent the boots to the cobbler for repair. We had nasi briyani for lunch at Insaf Restaurant. Later stopped at the plant nursery to buy some potted plants for our water garden.

While we were busy cleaning the pond, there was a commotion when officers from the Health Department went from house to house to ask the occupants to vacate their premises. They were fogging the area because of the widespread incidents of dengue fever at our housing area. There were even a few deaths reported recently. Hopefully the chemicals don't kill my three little fishes.

Saturday, 26 March 2005

Scared out of my life...

“Always do what you are afraid to do…” - Ralph Waldo Emerson

I was early for my annual medical check up at PMC.

I knew something must be wrong when they asked me to repeat the mammogram again. Later after the ultrasound test the doctor confirmed that there is a 0.66 mm lump in the upper quadrant of my left breast. When asked whether I should be tested further, the doctor advised me to come for the full result next week.

Hubby was already home when I came back. Although feeling so down and scared I wouldn't want to cause anxiety especially to my loved ones. Tonight we talked of my fear and lead us feeling sad and emotional and at times angry with each other over nothing. I want him to promise me that he will be strong for me and be with me whatever happens to me. At this moment, I am thinking of the worst. The very thought made me feel so sad...

Friday, 25 March 2005

Competencies glitch...

“There is neither happiness nor misery in the world; there is only the comparison of one state with another, nothing more…”

The traffic flow was smooth today. Enough time to stop at the cafe for breakfast.

The interview for the Manager's post went smoothly but we do not have the right candidates who really have the competencies to fill up the Manager post. Another round of interview with a few more candidates will be arranged by HR department. Nasi lemak berlauk for lunch really makes you feel drowsy in the afternoon. Had a round of discussions with Zainal and Zaini on our country paper for the SEACEN course. Need to come out with presentation materials later.

Sara came home and she brought with her loads of stuff from campus. For dinner, we shared a plate of mee goreng. I need to fast tonight as I will be going for my yearly medical check-up tomorrow. Ja came home late at night from Kuantan.

Thursday, 24 March 2005

Branching out...

“Courage is what it takes to stand up and speak; courage is also what it takes to sit down and listen.” - Winston Churchill

For the next 2 days we will be having the Branch Managers meeting at HQ. This is also in conjunction with the launching of the Annual Report. We had lunch with the Branch Managers at the Selera Restaurant at the Pan Pacific Hotel.

In the afternoon the team met with Dato' Daud on demonetisation issues. We ended up with a lot more things to do than what we asked for.

Wednesday, 23 March 2005

Life Coverage...

“There comes a time when the world gets quiet and the only thing left is your own heart..."

In the afternoon Yan from Takaful Iklas and hubby came to propose insurance coverage for the children and showed some benefit illustrations. The Ikhlas Saving Takaful was ok only that I should have started the program long time ago when the children were still small. Now, at the age of 20 something, the program doesn’t look quite that attractive. I worry that there will be no continuation after I retired.

Will have a talk with the kids before I decided to take up the insurance policy for them.

Monday, 21 March 2005

Hieratic dignity...

“In the end, we will remember not the words of our enemies, but the silence of our friends...” - Martin Luther King Jr.

We started from home very early in the morning. There was an accident involving few cars and had caused massive traffic jam but we managed to reach Tanglin early and had time for nasi lemak breakfast. Sent Ubai to the Parliament, She’s flying back to KB with the other YBs in the evening. In the office, we had informal interview for the vacant SE post. Most probably we will offer the post to Suraya from HR Department.

It was raining in the evening and we do not have time for teh tarik before class.

Sunday, 20 March 2005

The Golden Girls...

“Friendship is unnecessary, like philosophy, like art.... It has no survival value; rather it is one of those things which give value to survival...” - C.S. Lewis

Fetched Bee from her house and later fetched Ubai at KL Sentral.

Went to Tanglin for breakfast of lontong. Went to Taman Melati to Rozimah’s house. She is still as slim as when she was during our secondary school time. Called Kak Nah and was invited to her house for a nasi dagang makan-makan. It was her 51st birthday today. Her house was recently renovated and very spacious.
Went to 1-Utama to watch movie but we were a little too late. Met Hafiza at the food court. She’s going for her aerobic class at the Celebrity Gym. According to her Che Din was at Sepang watching the F1 race. Sms Che Din and promised to meet up later. Had a round of drinks at the Dome while waiting. Sent Bee and reached home after magrib. Bought nasi goreng and Tom Yam for dinner with Ubai and Sara. Ubai stayed up till 2 a.m. to complete a paper to be presented at a Woman's Forum next week.

Saturday, 19 March 2005

Ikan Terubuk Bakar...

“Education is what remains after one has forgotten what one has learned in school...” - Albert Einstein

At noon, with the kids, we went in one car to have lunch at Warong Ikan Bakar at Belakang Istana. Iwan had his ikan keli bakar, Sara and Saufi chose ikan pari and of course I will go for my favorite ikan terubuk bakar. yum..yum.. It was quite sometimes since we had a good hearty meal under the hot afternoon sun

Iwan went back to UTP late afternoon. Saufi stayed and bought dinner for the three of us.

Friday, 18 March 2005

Act of contrition...

“You talk when you cease to be at peace with your thoughts...” - Kahlil Gibran

Dr. Marco of crane AB presented printing process on their paper mill and printing plant in Sweden. The printing plant used to be the State printer of Sweden taken over recently by Crane AB. Called Dato’ Daud to apologize and ask permission for me and Mat Noh to be excused from joining him for dinner with Dr. Marco tonight.

We rather spend precious time together tonight.

Thursday, 17 March 2005

Signs of impatience...

“A life spent making mistakes is not only more honorable, but more useful than a life spent doing nothing...” - George Bernard Shaw

The whole day was filled with meetings. The morning meeting on blanking Plant discussed on the evaluation findings by the consultant. The evaluation committee decided on awarding the contractor not based on cost consideration alone but a lot of other criteria like meeting tight time schedule. The meeting was taking extra time so I skipped the TEC meeting.

In the afternoon there was a presentation by Fabriano Group from Italy. There's nothing new on the products they are marketing and it was a waste of 2-hour of my senior officers' time. Openly, Dato’ Daud voiced his disappointment. It was quite an embarrassment for the visitors as well as for us when he's irritated.

Wednesday, 16 March 2005

Ruthless ambitions...

“Let us read, and let us dance; these two amusements will never do any harm to the world...” - Voltaire

In the afternoon, the Procurement Section has arranged a meeting with representatives from a printer. They brought with them proof prints for final approval. We need to send them for machine testing although the proofs passed the initial visual examination.

Later had teh tarik with hubby at the Lake Gardens even though we do not have classes tonight.

Tuesday, 15 March 2005

Another get-together...

“Count your age by friends, not years. Count your life by smiles, not tears…” - John Lennon
Received a short sms from Ubai reminding me of our get-together plan this weekend. The Senator will be coming to KL for the opening of the Parliamentary Session this coming Monday. I also received a call from Nik Fauziah to confirm that she will be joining us. I don’t want to take her words seriously. If I know her, she is capable of canceling last minute appointment. I need to call Bee and Nik Aminah. Most probably Nik Aminah will not be joining us as she has made some plan for the weekend.

Went home early after office. Had dinner with Iwan. Earlier, he went to send Ella to the Putra Bus Station. She’s going back to Setiawan tonight.

Monday, 14 March 2005

A minor mishap...

“Isn't it nice to think that tomorrow is a new day with no mistakes in it yet?” - L.M. Montgomery 

At last, we have decided to replace the front speakers of my car.

It’s been a while since the speakers have been blurting out uncomprehending racket. So this morning hubby drove the Kia to office and I drove his Honda. He is going to the accessory shop during lunch to replace the speaker. On the way to office he had a slight accident. Although there’s no serious damage to the fender, it still needs repainting. Most probably I need to borrow Sara’s car for a week when we send the Kia for repair.

After office we had teh tarik at Lake gardens and later found out that our classes were postponed to next week. As Iwan and Ella will be having dinner before coming home, we went to warong Tanjung Puteri where I had kuey teow goreng for dinner.

Sunday, 13 March 2005

Moment in time...

“I can never be all the people I want and live all the lives I want…”

Hubby came home early. Most probably knowing that the children were at home and wanting to spend time with them. The kids played a game of Cluedo in the study for a while and later went to Berjaya Time Square to have some fun. We stayed in-house whole afternoon and missed our lunch.

Feeling hungry and bored, we called the kids to meet up at Sri Thai for dinner. Later we went for a round of hot coffee latte at the Coffee Bean.

Saturday, 12 March 2005

Fabricated scrap...

“If at first you don't succeed, try, try again. Then quit. No use being a damn fool about it...” - W.C. Fields


Last night I went home earlier than usual. Today and tomorrow the kids will be monopolizing the washing machine so I completed all the laundry washing during the night and ended up sleeping very late. Knowing that today is a non-working Saturday, and knowing that her mom will not be up before noon, Sara stopped at Destina on her way home from campus to buy a few packets of nasi lemak for lunch.

Late evening Iwan came home with Ella. Ella will be spending the school holiday in KL and they have made plan to rayau-rayau. We went to 1-Utama for dinner but ended up eating separately. Sara and I at the Laksa Shack, while Iwan and Ella at the Burger King. We watched midnight movie ‘Robot’ and came home way after 2 a.m.

Thursday, 10 March 2005

A time to heal...

“You will never be happy if you continue to search for what happiness consists of..."
During the week I spent time clearing my e-mails and the in-tray. Linda was down with measles and was on MC for two whole weeks leaving me to clear the mess on my table. Luckily, this whole week hubby is out-station so I spent late hours in the office clearing backlogs.

Tonight I followed Zila and Ali to the surau at Wangsa Maju for Kenduri Tahlil for arwah Arshad. Al-fatihah…

Sunday, 6 March 2005

Rites of passage...

“Faith is taking the first step even when you can't see the whole staircase.” - Martin Luther King Jr

We sent Ja to Puduraya to catch the 12.30 p.m. bus. My plan was to go to the spa later but received a shocking news that Arshad, my former staff, has passed away. He fainted right after a game of futsal and never regains consciousness. He’s only 37 and left behind a wife and 5 kids. Later in the afternoon, I went with Sara to Wangsa Maju to pay our respects. There we met with others, who were equally baffled by the sudden deceased of our close friend.

To everything there is a season
And a time to every purpose, under the heaven
A time to be born and a time to die

Saturday, 5 March 2005

Stray Snowflakes...

“Traveling is like falling in love, the world is made new...”

It's the end of our winter holiday.

The plane landed at KLIA at 7.30 a.m. After buying lots of chocolates, we took the ERL and later a cab to my office to take the car. We stopped for a hearty breakfast of roti chanai at the Mamak restaurant. We skipped lunch and the whole afternoon was spent catching up with sleep. Later we had dinner at Victoria Station with Sara and Saufi.

Tonight I dreamt we were standing hand-in-hand on the river bank. Looking at the snow-covered river and at boats and ferries frozen in situ. The trees and the fields were white, and yet the sun was shining bright too. It was a magical moment. The next thing I remember was waking up, trying to brush off stray snowflakes that fall on my face…

My travelogue: Stolkholm, Sweden