About Me

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I am married to my loving husband for more than 38 years now. I am a mother to 3 beautiful children, until 11 years ago when I lost my youngest son. Since then my life is forever altered but yet unbroken....

Sunday, 26 December 2010

Our thoughts are with you...

"Dear Mirza Ashran Mustafa, thinking of you on your 25th birthday with sadness in our hearts…"

(Mirwan & Mirza)

Another birthday, another year,
With precious memories of you,
Thoughts today of our lives together,
Hold a love that will live forever

We cannot send a birthday card,
Your hand we cannot touch,
But God will take our greetings
To you we love so much...

Monday, 20 December 2010

Everything happens for a reason…

"Life moves pretty fast. If you don't stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it..." 

A morning in bed with nothing to do but read a story book, eating toasts spread with peanut butter, sounded like heaven to me. But today I woke up very early because I have a date with a few of my close friends.

I drove early in the hot humid morning expecting the constant chaotic traffic jam but I was surprised that the road was quite deserted. The normal uncertainty of daily life all combined to drive people to the edge of madness was not visible even though it was a Monday. My driving was not at its best in the rain. I arrived at Kota Warisan in a wet, overcast morning after fetching Bee and Sidah and later we went to the Salak Tinggi ERL station to fetch Kid.

We were too early but Sariah’s delicious cooking was ready for consumption. We mused over long forgotten stories and updated each other of life happenings. Those friends of mine have a lot to talk about, maintaining a facade that revealed nothing of their inner thoughts or feelings. But through their eyes I could see their emotion had been flushed out of the depths. The life that went on in its muted fashion, lay stranded and squirming in the subconscious mind buried long ago was once again unspooling. In the end, however, the pieces were starting to fall together.

(SMKB friends: Nong, Kid, Bee, Sariah and Sidah)
There is a saying: in life, we receive what we give. That all our actions reflect back upon us, either in this world or in the subsequent ones. All of us are subject to the law of karma, but we don't have to be imprisoned by it.

Remember, life is too short for regrets...

Sunday, 19 December 2010

Riding in the rain to Tg Lumpur…

"I love the rain - it washes memories off the sidewalk of life..."

On Saturday we had lunch at Dewan Risda in Ampang and later in the evening, we had dinner at Tanjung Lumpur Pahang, 260 km away from KL.

The afternoon was bright and clear when we started riding. When we stopped at the R&R for a cup of coffee, the sky had begun to fill up with clouds, it was ominously dark on the horizon. A full moon was high in the sky as we rode in the rain to Tanjung Lumpur for dinner. The ride back to KL was smoother and drier and we reached home way after mid-night.

Riding in the rain has a relaxing and calming effect. But that night I found it difficult to sleep as the coffee was beginning to burn a hole in my stomach.

Some ride in the rain
To wash away their tears
Yearning for days of yesterday
Never shifting gears

So when the rain is upon them
When they hear the thunder crack
They go for a ride to cleanse their spirit
To get their life back on track…

Wednesday, 15 December 2010

Not forgotten, nor forgiven...

"Resentment is a psychological cancer, anger with extreme form of grievance can burden the mind and block all senses..."

Over the three decades in the organization I have made many friends and I don't deny that over those years I made enemies too by virtue of me being who I was and who I am now. I am saddened for the hurt that I had inflicted, be it work related or personal, intentionally or not. But I am more saddened to realize that some people harbored the feeling of hurt for many many years and had not let it passed.

I have forgotten and I have forgiven, for this life is too short my friend...

Friday, 10 December 2010

No sense of order…

"The price one pays for pursuing any profession, is an intimate knowledge of its ugly side. What is needed is a sense of order and purpose..."

I woke up earlier than usual that morning. The sun had just slipped above the horizon, leaving the sky the color of fire when I drove out of the parking lot of my Putramas apartment.

The meeting with the lawyers was brief. By now the lawyers would have memorized the details and would have been able to prepare the affidavit for me to sign. Without proper documentations my memory is blank. If I could induce a complete enough silence in my conscious mind, it is possible that a memory lost would appear to fill the space. To make things worse, my subpoena could not be located. And how am I to attend the court case without that piece of blue paper.

Anger is an indulgence I could not afford now...

(Another case, another episode)

Tuesday, 7 December 2010

Tinged with sadness...

"The people who think they are happy should rummage through their dreams..." — Edward Dahlberg

Even as a child she had lived her own small life all within herself.

Kid is one of my closest of friends, one of the BV gang. Kid was once a big part of my life for a long time, from standard one to form five. A part of me will always care for her, and she can never deceive nor lie to me. I felt a powerful kinship with her, an emotional bond that was tinged with a terrible sadness, recognition of the wound inside her that could never truly be healed. She was not on my radar for many years but hubby and I managed to track her in Wellington NZ. The last time I met her in KL was when her husband retired from the Consulate. I have not seen nor heard from her since.

And today is her birthday. Not being in contact in many years, I assumed that she is still using her old number. My birthday wish was not acknowledged till very late evening when I received a short reply from an unknown number.

All of sudden, this emotion stood between us, silently acknowledged perhaps but never articulated…

(BV friends forever)

Yesterday brought the beginning,
tomorrow brings the end,
and somewhere in the middle
we became the best of friends...

Sunday, 5 December 2010

Singapore Duck Tour...

"Happiness is not a station you arrive at, but a manner of traveling..." - Margaret Lee Runbeck 

We went for a day trip to Singapore and it was sunny and bright throughout the day.

It was late when we started to board the bus from JB Central. We took the MRT from Keranji to Raffles City and bought tickets for the duck tour where an hour-long journey on land and water brought us close to Singapore's famous skyline, historical landmarks and fantastic bay view.

(Fitri & Sara @ Merlion Statue)
(The Esplanade in the background)
(3 black boys taking a dip in Singapore river)

My Overseas Travel: munmus.blogspot.com

Saturday, 4 December 2010

Bikers' Dreams...

Johor International Bikers Fest
(3 - 5 December 2010)

Some of the pictures taken at the bikers' fest in JB using my new Blackberry Torch....

Thursday, 2 December 2010

Cause of Peace and freedom...

"Patriotism is not a short and frenzied outburst of emotion but the tranquil and steady dedication of a lifetime..."

Our plan to have ayam kampung lunch at Tugu View Café was cancelled as we were a little too late. But our second choice of ayam kampung lunch at Cheras Velodrome was not that bad too. As the weather was good, we brought Hana to visit the National Monument and allowed her to sweat out a bit after having cooped up and down with fever for almost a week

(The first National Monument)

The Cenotaph is the original national monument standing 15 meters high at the upper entrance of the Tugu Negara, on a 7 stepped rectangular base. This granite structure was first built in 1921 to remember the fallen heroes of the World War I, World War II and the Malayan Emergency.

(Ascending slow and steady)

Tugu Negara, which is also 15 meters tall was constructed in 1966, was designed by an Austrian sculptor, Felix de Weldon, The monument depicts huge tall bronze figures of soldiers standing and supporting their fallen comrades. In 1975, the monument suffered extensive damage due to an explosion and was restored 2 years later to its original state with the new Malaysian looks replacing the Caucasian statues.

(Exhausted but happy)

The National Monument is dedicated to the heroic fighters in the cause of peace and freedom, May the blessing of Allah be upon them...

Wednesday, 1 December 2010

Past, present and future...

"It is better to know some of the questions than all of the answers..." - James Thurber

The day was full of sunlight and hope.

The whole day yesterday I was feeling miserable. The flu virus is attacking my every bone. There was no despondency when I fell asleep last night; nor was there anticipation of getting better when I awoke this morning.

A few close friends were supposed to join me at my spa late evening today but last minute decision was made to meet up early at the Lanai. Listening to some updates and new initiatives made me feel like I have been away for years. We mostly discussed about everything non-work related. As there were a few retirees among us, there were attempts to compare how much one is getting for gratuities, golden handshake and the like.

When asked about mine and my future plan, I answered questions with friendly evasiveness, not with any fixed idea to mislead them. Jokingly I told them that all sense of reality had gone out of my life. I have abandoned myself to fate, and awaited the consequences with indifference. The past was nothing to me as it offered no lesson which I am willing to heed. The present alone is significant and the future is a mystery which I would never attempt to penetrate.

(Array of silverware @ Lanai Kijang)

The reason people find it so hard to be happy is that they always see the past better than it was, the present worse than it is, and the future less resolved than it will be…