About Me

My photo
I am married to my loving husband for more than 38 years now. I am a mother to 3 beautiful children, until 11 years ago when I lost my youngest son. Since then my life is forever altered but yet unbroken....

Friday, 30 March 2007

The journey...

"Never waste an opportunity to tell someone you love them..."

Dhaka, Bangladesh

A Journey

Life is just passing by the window
catching a glimpse or two
nothing is precious in the end, but the journey.

There may be no apparent right or left turn
in the heart of turning, there is a joy
embracing that joy is a unique fulfillment.

Life is just passing by the window
catching a glimpse or two
that is the ultimate experience......

M Iqbal Hussain

Monday, 26 March 2007

I need a break...

"I dislike arguments of any kind. They are always vulgar, and often convincing..." - Oscar Wilde

I met representatives from the printer first thing in the morning to discuss on revised delivery schedule. At 9.30 a.m. there was a meeting on ISO with all the section heads. Then followed with a series of discussions with the procurement section on the new tender results, courtesy visits and all. Arrggh... they knew that I won't be around in the afternoon and will be gone for a week yet they managed to cram all discussions and meetings to this morning...

I need to break loose.

This evening I'll be flying off to Dhaka for a week holiday with hubby.

Sunday, 25 March 2007

4x4 off-roading to Tasek Bera...

“One’s destination is never a place, but a new way of seeing things...”

Sunday - 24 March 2007

(Tasik Bera, Pahang)

Early morning we headed towards Segamat then decided we'll explore Tasek Bera from Bahau, Negeri Sembilan. It was already noon when we reached the junction to the lake and stopped at the road side to have our lunch of nasi lemak.

(Huge trees along the lake)

Tasek Bera is a natural freshwater lake and the largest freshwater swamp in Malaysia. The modest Persona Lake Resort has a variety of accomodations for tourists, ranging from chalets and hostel.

(Walking among the tall trees)

The lake is characterised by a watery landscape dominated by wild pandan trees lining the narrow channels. A variety of ferns and orchids can be seen attached to tree trunks while thorny rattan weave through the undergrowth.

(Fish farms on shallow water)

In the drier areas, lowland rainforest trees and palms add to the diversity of the wetland reserve.

(The jetty needs repair)

According to the forest ranger, the surrounding forests still support tigers, tapirs and elephants. Other wildife known to exist include the clouded leopard, wild boars, monkeys, mouse-deer, flying squirrels and flying lemur.

(The jetty is still in use)

The isolated and tranquil surroundings of open water offer opportunities for boating and kayaking. Visitors will enjoy spending a few hours cruising the river channels to explore the vegetation and search for wildlife.

The lowland rainforests offer ample opportunities for jungle trekking excursions and a perfect place for fishing. While we were there, we met some of the Semelais, the local aborigines of the wetland.

Friday, 23 March 2007

Kenduri arwah & Tahlil...

"All that live must die, passing through nature to eternity..."

Last week I received a call from Ayu, one of Ja’s close friends asking where will the Kenduri Arwah and Tahlil be held. I told her that I’ve already arranged it to be in Melaka. It’s been a year passed but I still receive calls or sms from Ja’s friends asking about my well being. I know his friends missed him, but I missed him more. We’ll doa for him in our prayers….

Sara came back in the afternoon after office and followed us to Melaka. Iwan and Ella arrived later just when they started the baca yassin after the magrib prayer. The kenduri went well. Iwan, Ella and Sara drove back to KL right after the kenduri. We stayed the night at Mak’s place and planned to explore Tasik Bera the next morning….

Wednesday, 21 March 2007

A penny for your thoughts...

"People love to talk but hate to listen..." - Alice Duer Miller 

I hate being disturbed with petty things...

I was in the middle of signing the 25-page statement with ACP Chong when I was called to join the discussion with the Legal Department. The discussion was long winded and boring. I thought today I would be able to sneak out early as I have a date with Di at the club but my happiness was short-lived. When I reached my office, there were loads of letters to be signed and stacks of invoices to be approved. And I know I'm going to be late again.

When I reached the club it was already dark and Di was already waiting. All the while, I didn’t realize that she has been coming to the club as often. Or, we have never crossed path. Or did we? Most probably, I’ve been spending the earlier part of the nights at the squash court before going to the gym. We cycled a while and I sweat a little. We decided to skip the steam room and the sauna and headed straight to the bowling cafĂ© to order dinner. I sensed she wanted to talk and I was pretty hungry too. The bowling alley was empty and we had our privacy. We talked while we eat. The enlightening conversation and sharing of thoughts helped to conceal the lack of taste of my fried kuey teow….

It was near 10 o’clock when we bade goodbye and promised to see each other again for a game of squash or a soothing body massage at the Jentayu Spa, one of these days.

I was not feeling overly tired tonight but the minute I put my head on the pillow, I immediately dozed off into a deep relaxing slumber while Yanni live at the Acropolis was playing at the background….

Tuesday, 20 March 2007

Seekor kerbau membawa lumpur…

"When you are right, no one remembers; when you are wrong, no one forgets..." - Irish proverb 

If I can endure the worst, I can withstand any thing.

For four days my officers and I were subjected to a grueling inquiry by the authorities following in-dept investigation on one of our contractors. Unlike others, who have to meet up with the investigation officers either at Bukit Aman or Bukit Perdana, I was lucky to be interviewed at one of the small meeting rooms, secluded and away from the disturbance of calls or meetings. A privilege extended to only a selected few.

The interview room, without any windows, is confined and disturbingly suffocating. I was usually not claustrophobic but with the statement taken ala interrogating style, made me went out of the room more often than necessary. The men were luckier as they were allowed smoking breaks at regular intervals. My breaks were limited to going to the wash room and stretching tired back-bones and knotted ligaments.

It is rather strange that many other officers from other departments – more high ranking and with respectable posts have yet to be called to give statements. With the recording of statements, rims of Xerox documents were filed and kept as evidence in case we were later called as witnesses. Policies and procedures were checked again and again to look for loop-holes and inconsistencies. It is hoped that lessons can be learnt from these episodes. It is only the beginning and we were bracing for the worst. The case may even get out of hand if not handled professionally.

If only more people in this world, particularly among the smart-assed, care to cultivate their sense of responsibilities, the world will be a much happier place for us all…

Monday, 19 March 2007

A year passed…

So when the day starts without you,
the sun doesn’t seem as bright...
And every time I think of you,
you’re right here in my heart.

In loving memory of my youngest son
Mirza Ashran Mustafa
(1985 - 2006)

Monday, 12 March 2007

Time is eternity

“In most things success depends on knowing how long it takes to succeed…” – C L de Montesquieu

We woke up late again. Last night we slept like a log after an hour of strong foot reflexology at Sri Hartamas and the late tepanyaki supper at the food court supplement the lethargic feeling we felt this morning.

We had cereal for breakfast in a hurry. I had to rush to office as I have appointment with DG first thing this morning. The discussion with him was swift and decision was made on the spot. In the afternoon we had a conference call with Korea to clarify on matters at hand. Whole afternoon was spent going through the proposal papers to be submitted for management to endorse.

Feeling so exhausted and drained…

Friday, 2 March 2007

A sea of pain...

"In the end, the only thing you really own is your story..."

That day when I sent hubby to KL Sentral, we drove in silence.

Each of us was lost in confusion and total self bliss. Something I said must have hurt him. When we kissed goodbye, I could see the sadness in his eyes. For two days we lost touch. His last sms was before he boarded the plane to Dhaka.

That day when he came back from Dhaka, he sms, I was too tired to reply. I worked hard whole day trying not to think. The special audit on the department was disrupting our normal operations. The team stayed till late night but my mind was somewhere else.

That night, we stayed in bed holding each other in silence. Not even a million words could interpret the emotions of the moment. I love you very much too, yang...

When life becomes a sea of pain
And every moment agony
I must endure again, again,
It is a curse to have to be.

Even as I must go on,
You watch me helpless from the shore;
Sailing thus, though loved, alone,
I need you with me all the more.

(Nick G)