About Me

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I am married to my loving husband for more than 38 years now. I am a mother to 3 beautiful children, until 11 years ago when I lost my youngest son. Since then my life is forever altered but yet unbroken....

Friday, 30 June 2006

Reward for ideas...

“An idea that is not dangerous is unworthy of being called an idea at all…” - Oscar Wilde


Currently, my organization is exploring the idea management process, policies and system to enable all staff to give ideas on various topics and issues. This initiative is a spin-off from last year's Knowledge Management Fair.

As part of the recognition process, they are considering an individual points system whereby points will be awarded to ideas in various campaigns throughout the year as long as they are original and relevant. For those ideas, staff will receive points. The more ideas contributed, the more points you accumulate.

They are also thinking about having a "Hall of Fame" for individuals and departments as a way to recognize staff contribution.

I told my people to contribute. The management values your ideas. Don't say they never ask!

Wednesday, 28 June 2006

Life goes on...

“Life is not a problem to be solved, but a reality to be experienced…”- Søren Kierkegaard

Life Goes On...

Into the world you come
Like the morning dew,
A sun, giving warmth...

Without warning
A storm gathers,
Wipes away the sunshine…

Sorrow creeps,
Unsettling memories,
Silence prevails...

Life must go on...

Tuesday, 27 June 2006

Ja – 100 days...

"Maybe Allah has a bigger plan for us than we had for ourselves..."

Ja was born at 8 p.m. on Christmas Eve of 1985. Ja was my youngest of 3 kids. His sister Sara is 3 years older than him and his brother Iwan is 2 years older. My pregnancy with Ja was difficult. The doctor informed me that this will be my last pregnancy as my womb will not stand any more pregnancies after this. Similar to my pregnancy with my second son, Iwan, I was made to rest in bed during most months. Towards the end of the pregnancy I was put under CRIB, Complete Rest In Bed. The doctor has to put the shirodkar suture to strengthen a weakened cervix and to avoid complication during pregnancy. I was bleeding heavily throughout. And throughout the pregnancy I prayed to Allah to save my baby. I prayed for no complications during delivery. And I prayed for my baby to be healthy and steer clear of deformities, physically and mentally. From Allah I asked for nothing more…

Ja was born a healthy boy. Although he was dark, not as cute as his brother, Iwan and not as fair as his sister, Sara, he was handsome and good-looking to my eyes. Being the youngest and knowing that I would not have a chance to have another baby, my attention to Ja was profuse. Compared to the other two, Ja needed more coaching in school. Unlike Sara and Iwan, who always top their classes, Ja would always be among the average. Although a little slow in his study, especially in maths, his English was excellent.

When Sara went to Sekolah Tun Fatimah in JB and a year later Iwan went to Sekolah Sains Taiping, Ja was alone at home with us. He joined Institut hafiz until Form 3 and managed to recite 5 juzu’ al-Quran during his stint there. Later he came back to KL and finished his Form 5 in Sekolah Menengah Ideal Height. Ja made friends easily. In school he was a favorite among school mates and teachers. During his short period of schooling in Selayang, he made a lot of friends and became very attached to his brotherhood.

On 19 March 2006, while riding on his motorbike with his brotherhood to go camping in Ulu Yam, my beloved Ja met with an accident. His friend riding on another bike died on the spot. Another sustained serious injuries. Ja passed away during a five-hour operation on the same day at the age of 20…

Today is the 100th day after that fateful day…

And my heart is still heavy with sorrow…

Saturday, 24 June 2006

Majlis persandingan...

“The greater part of our happiness or misery depends upon our dispositions, and not upon our circumstances...” - Martha Washington

A bride and groom,
With the warmness of their souls
Happy about tomorrow,
And persevere the future before them…

We too are lovers, he and I,
Plighted through the stormy sky
All through the riotous ardent weather
We dreamed, and loved, and rejoiced together…

Sunday, 18 June 2006

Happy Father's Day...

“Do not pray for an easy life, pray for the strength to endure a difficult one…” - Bruce Lee

My Abah was born in 1927. He is the 3rd of siblings of 4 girls and 3 boys. He came from a poor family. Being the eldest boy in the family he shouldered heavy responsibilities. During his younger days, he helped tapping rubber trees at nearby estates and helped in the sawah during planting and harvesting seasons and received a small upah for his work.

Once in a while he helped his mother, who was a dukun, to prepare portions of herbs for those who came to their house to seek treatment. His mother learned the skills from his grand-father, Pawang Sidon. According to my Abah, Pawang Sidon was quite famous during his time. My Abah inherited the skills but very seldom practice them unless asked. I remember when I was small, we never go to hospital if we were sick. Abah will jampi a glass of water and we drink it and go to sleep. The next day, when we woke up, we were ok, up and running. Either, the jampi was mujarab or we just didn’t have money to go to clinic for medicines… I want to believe both.

Because he was always busy helping his parents, taking care of his siblings, very often he played truant and skipped school. By the time the Japanese occupied Malaya, he dropped school and worked in the rubber estate. Once in a while my Abah and his friends crossed path with Japanese soldiers and once in a while they got slapped because they forgot to bow low. After the 2nd world war, life was better for my Abah. He got married to my Mak, who came from a well-to-do family. It was an arranged marriage. He was a preferred choice over many other suitors because he was well-known in his kampong for Quran reciting and berzanji. My parents have been married for almost 60 years now. According to my Mak, my Abah was a very handsome man when he was young. A loving husband and a good father to his children. And I believe her.

I never wish my Abah on Father’s Day. But I think he knows that I love him so very much.

A father is neither an anchor to hold us back,
Nor a sail to take us there,
But a guiding light whose love shows us the way

To all the fathers in the world
HaPpY FaThEr's DaY

Thursday, 15 June 2006

Unrest in Dhaka...

“I've begun to realize that you can listen to silence and learn from it. It has a quality and a dimension all its own…” - Chaim Potok

After dinner the kids gathered in front of the TV to watch the foot-ball games. They were ready and geared up with blankets, tit-bits and water. I guessed it will be another late nights for them.

I joined the kids for a short while but my body was dead beat and lethargic. And the bed looks so inviting. By 9 o’clock I was already sprawled on the bed and snoozed.

I woke up again when I heard the hand-phone ringing. It was hubby calling from Dhaka. Dhaka is 2 hours behind us and he just came back from dinner with his counterparty. I am glad to hear his voice. I am worried for his safety. I saw in CNN about the riots in the Bangladesh capital. Clashes were reported in nearly a dozen places across the city. Police fired bullets and tear gas at thousands of protesters wounding a few hundreds people. The protesters responded by throwing stones and setting several vehicles on fire.

Yang, please take care and avoid passing through those places. Nanti tak pasal2 kena tahan pulak. Ada iras bangla pulak tu, he he…

Wednesday, 14 June 2006

Whispers of loneliness...

 “Love is not affectionate feeling, but a steady wish for the loved person's ultimate good as far as it can be obtained...” - C.S. Lewis

Yesterday morning, I was frustrated when the Spectra refused to start. Not a click of the alarm, not even a sigh from the engine. My first day of work after a week long holiday and this has to happen. Iwan had to rush me to office before driving like crazy to clock-in before 8.30 a.m.

Last night, while the kids were watching the foot-ball games, I was absorbed doing my sudoku puzzles. Hubby was busy packing for his trip to Dhaka and once a while he’ll sit with us and asked about the scores. And once a while he’ll hover over my sudoku puzzle and disturbed my concentration. And tomorrow he’ll be leaving for Dhaka for a week to join his project team and I am going to miss him once again.

Tonight after our nasi lemak dinner at Tanglin, I sent him to KL Sentral. His flight to Dhaka was at 10 o’clock. After we kissed goodbye I drove to Mesjid Negara to attend my Arabic class. I wasn’t really following what was being discussed. Feeling the loneliness of separation, even for a short while, drifted my mind away.

Back in the Putramas apartment, from the 22nd floor, the serene silhouette of Mesjid Wilayah peeked through the curtain of our bedroom. It was already after 3 o’clock in the morning but my eyes refused to sleep. I could hear the kids in the living room roared and shouted, most probably celebrating the goals from their favorite teams. If Ja is still around he would probably watched the games with his brotherhoods at the Mamak stall, drinking teh tarik and eating roti canai…

The emotion of solitude and loneliness has crushed my heart. Tonight I cried myself to sleep. Like a falling leaf, my mind drifted, lost and alone.

I still carry within me the grief of loving, the passing of time… the distance of miles…

Saturday, 10 June 2006

My Journey ends....

The caravan will stop at the end of the track
When the journey's over, there's no turning back
The rear view mirror reflecting the past
Of memories precious, forever last

The moon fades
The path darkens
...My journey ends...

p.s. I had a wonderful holiday and I really enjoyed it very much. I love you, yang...

My Travelogue: munmus.blogspot.com

Saturday, 3 June 2006

My journey begins...

Hand in hand we walk this road,
Together, facing every curve and bend.
But I stumble not upon this path of gold,
For I journey beside my one true friend…

The sun shines
The path opens
... My journey begins ...

My Travelogue: munmus.blogspot.com

Friday, 2 June 2006

Traveling again?

“Our life itself is a journey. Let’s travel…”

Each year, hubby and I will plan for our holidays together. And each year, without fail, we will decide on a new overseas destination. Sometimes in a year, we will go to only one single destination, but most of the time it will be two or three more depending on the availability of time.

Between him and me, time is always the essence.

So this year in February, we went to Bali for a very relaxing tranquil holiday. Then in May I went to Paris and Vienna for work and extended my stay to spend the holiday with hubby in Vienna, Budapest and Bratislava. And earlier this year, during the MATA fair, we booked air tickets to go to Auckland, early June.

Yeay! It looks like hubby and I are going for another holiday soon. I wish Sara, Iwan and Ella could come along but somehow we could not get extra tickets, if not it would be a nice family outing together and a honeymoon treat for the pengantin baru…

My Travelogue: munmus.blogspot.com

Thursday, 1 June 2006

Congealed brain...

“It does not matter how slowly you go as long as you do not stop…” - Confucius

The meeting to brief AG on our department’s half year achievements and risk profiling was done yesterday afternoon. There were various follow-up actions need to be done. And all throughout the day people were busy doing analysis and reports. Not a dust was stirring. Not even a whisper or a murmur was heard. Not a creak of the floor. Everyone was busy to complete their reports.

Later in the evening they sat and discussed strategy with me, till hours quite wee. The charts all studied, all thoroughly read. And visions of questions and queries dance in my head. I need to submit the report tonight. It was quite late, and my fate is sealed. Under all this pressure, my brain has congealed!

Now I am in my room staring at the blank monitor. I'm just too tired to work anymore!