About Me

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I am married to my loving husband for more than 38 years now. I am a mother to 3 beautiful children, until 11 years ago when I lost my youngest son. Since then my life is forever altered but yet unbroken....

Monday, 31 January 2005

Rain and thunder...

“Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage...” ― Lao Tzu

After work we met up at Lake Garden to have teh tarik.

Received sms announcement to inform cancellation of my class tonight. Hubby's class was still on. It was raining quite heavily and according to the traffic report some roads were closed because of flash floods. Called a few friends who were still in the office or stuck in the jam to detour and meet at the spa. Would have gone for a round of aromatherapy massage if we called earlier.

Bought something simple for dinner and have a round of indulgence in foot reflexology. Once the traffic was clear, went home and had a long hot lingering bath before going to bed.

Sunday, 30 January 2005

Synthesis of love...

“There is no greater agony than bearing an untold story inside you...” - Maya Angelou

Lately we always let emotions ruled our hearts and spoiled our life.

We slept quite late and had good reason to stay in bed till noon. We skipped breakfast. Instead, we had brunch at Restaurant 23 Jam and later, sent Ja to Puduraya to catch the 1 o’clock bus to Kuantan. Ja came back late yesterday. Maybe worried about his motorbike which he left at a friend’s house last week.

We told Sara to arrange her own dinner, as we want to go gallivanting, just the two of us. We shared a bowl of Assam Laksa for dinner at One Utama. And later watched the movie Elektra, played by Jennifer Garner, a strong, mysterious and sexy action heroine.

Tonight, wrapped in each other’s arms we talked about how much we care, and the love we want to share. Tonight, I dream of rainbows of colors within my mind, colors that show a love so kind.

Saturday, 29 January 2005

Cocooned within...

“When one door of happiness closes, another opens; but often we look so long at the closed door that we do not see the one which has been opened for us...” - Helen Keller

The breakfast served was delicious.

The workshop started sharp at 8.30 a.m. and ended near noon. We packed our things and took the Federal Hi-way to Subang and had a quick lunch. The traffic was slow moving and by the time I reached home I was pretty exhausted. Hubby was napping and I followed suit.

Tonight hubby realised that I’m very quite. I know, at times like this I need some space. Even if I forced myself to have conversations, while sharing helped, might messed up my taste. My efforts might go to waste. Sometimes, I was lost in battling emotions, so I stayed silent. Let hopes and dreams play havoc with my mind.

Friday, 28 January 2005

Resort within the city...

“Love looks not with the eyes, but with the mind...”
Intekma Resort, Shah Alam'
Today I had solo lunch at the café.

Today we are having department’s Goal Setting Workshop and all section heads and deputies must participate. The first session will start at 4.30 p.m. and we have to be at the resort earlier to arrange for logistic at the Sri Bestari banquet hall. I lost my way and circled the area a few times before I found the resort.

They have booked rooms for those who bring their family and would want to stay a night or two. I was allocated a nice studio apartment at the furthermost part of the resort. Although the resort is within residential areas, the tranquil environment is peaceful and serene. A nice place to come and relax the mind.

Wednesday, 26 January 2005

Unprecedented short cuts...

“My favorite thing is to go where I've never gone before…” - Diane Arbus'
We went for teh tarik at Tanglin before going to our classes.

I received SOS call from Banking Section reporting problems with e-pintas cash withdrawal. They need authorization to cancel some transactions. I skipped class and went back to office to assess problems. By the time we decided to cancel the transactions, the system was ok again and my people have to stay back to carry out day-end processing.

Next time, we need to be more forceful on cut off time. May want to impose penalties on late transmission. Wouldn’t want the FIs to take advantage of the window period to clinch last minute deals.

Tuesday, 25 January 2005

Glum & melancholy...

“Love never dies a natural death. It dies because we don't know how to replenish its source..."
My stomach was not feeling well and I experienced the cramps at every regular interval.

The sign of my gastric recurring. Most probably I have not eaten well the past few days. Today, there were errands to be done. Our diplomatic notes were in order and we need to send the visa application forms and passport to the US Embassy. Need to collect my visa card from my bank too. As all credit cards are chip-based, I have not been able to use my old card, even at the petrol station.

Tonight, besides the uneasiness in my tummy, I was troubled in the heart too. Felt so sadden and depressed…

Monday, 24 January 2005

Maintain integrity & security...

“Finish each day and be done with it..."


The TUDM airport was busy early in the morning. There were a few planes being loaded with boxes. Must be supplies of food and clothing to be sent to Banda Acheh. As our cargo is of high security, they have allowed us to depart first. This was my first time flying in a Charlie and it was worth the experience. Besides the consignment officers, we were accompanied by a few security guards and police officers. Although the jump seat was uncomfortable and the engine was noisy, I managed to doze off for a while.

It was raining quite heavily when we reached Kuching. The process to downloading and uploading our cargo was not as efficient as in KL. We have to wait quite a while for the work to complete. From the airport to the Kuching Office, the branch officers took over the consignment and relief us of the custodianship.

They have booked a room at the Holiday Inn for me to rest before my flight. Managed to sleep for a few hours before they woke me up for my pick-up to the airport. Took the earlier flight as there were empty seats available. The rest of the contingent will only fly tomorrow night.

Hubby waited for me at the KL Sentral right after his class. We stopped for a light dinner at the warong. I was dead tired when we reached home and fell asleep the instance I put my head on the pillow.

Sunday, 23 January 2005

Managing the supply chain...

“Anyone who has never made a mistake has never tried anything new.” - Albert Einstein


In the morning I was given a short briefing by the Inventory Chief on security arrangement on our GMB consignment. Although the goods will be transported to TUDM Subang early tomorrow morning, I was in the office before 10 p.m. to check on the schedule and logistics. The uploading of boxes took nearly 2 hours to complete. All in all, we have a dozen officers, inclusive of security guards working throughout the night. I managed to rest a while in my office before the contingent started moving at 2.30 a.m.

The 2 kontena were escorted by Police cars and our own security vehicles throughout the journey. At the TUDM airport, they took another 4 hours to download boxes from the Kontena into the Charlie, under tight security.

Saturday, 22 January 2005

Unreel the film of life...

“A lie can travel half way around the world while the truth is putting on its shoes...” - Mark Twain

Sometimes unconsciously I daydream.

While lying in my bed, thoughts of someone once very dear to me run through my head. Memories jump from my thoughts and set the time motionless. Can still imagine the haloed smile I can’t forget, the never-ending whispers and laughter. Can still hear the echo I faintly remember.

Now, only my thoughts I hear for no apparent logical reason. Thoughts that in no way I would reconsider. An acquaintance these long years, I never expected would take place. Neither fork nor knife splitting path and edge would ever be reason to hinder our amity.

For this bond is not capable of disappearance…

Friday, 21 January 2005

Eid of Sacrifice...

“Keep away from people who try to belittle your ambitions..."

After breakfast we went to perform the solat sunat Eid-ul-Adha at the Mesjid near our house. Started from home quite early and reached Melaka in time for the men to solat Jumaat. They were having a kenduri at the mosque and the men had their lunch there.

Everyone in the family came back for the Raya, except for Ngah and Kak Idah who are performing the Haj, Nor and family who are posted in Dubai and Bakar and wife in Namibia. We missed them and pray for their good health. After lunch everyone was so full and lethargic to do anything useful. The weather was so conducive for afternoon naps. The ladies had a round of facials and massage performed by our qualified beautician, at a small fee.

We drove back to KL after a hefty dinner. Iwan decided to go gallivanting in Melaka town with friends and came back to KL later in the wee hour of the morning.

Thursday, 20 January 2005

Realisation of aspiration...

“We've all got both light and dark inside us. What matters is the part we choose to act on. That's who we really are.” - J.K. Rowling

The bus waited for us at 8.15 sharp. I was a few minutes late because of heavy traffic. On the way to Putrajaya, called the Travel Agent regarding our travel arrangements for the trip to Washington. Need to include a few days after the official trip for own holiday. Most probably we’ll stop over in Stockholm on the way back.

The Dewan Plenari, Putrajaya International Convention Centre was packed with officers from the Government Departments. This was the 6th ‘Majlis Perdana Perkhidmatan Awam’ and the PM is giving his mandate for the year 2005. Our delegation consists of 15 officers, including 3 department heads.

A virtuous man always ponders on his faults, not of others - Gautama Buddha

Wednesday, 19 January 2005

A crowded mind...

“Being a woman is a terribly difficult task, since it consists principally in dealing with men.” - Joseph Conrad

Zainal, the Inventory Chief and Ng from Branches Management section followed me to Sime Building in the company’s Limousine. It was a follow up meeting to discuss on the possibility of phasing out the ACO from our branches and HQ. After thorough deliberation by the Audit, Security and Risk Management Departments, the auditors will put up a management paper to propose for the change in the overall functions of the ACO.

Lunch was with Zila at our favorite Nasi Padang restaurant. Later, there was a briefing by the DLR team to the senior officers of our department. Although superficial, the talk was quite beneficial for our team to start the New Series project. Work continued after office hours with the inventory and outsourced team to trash out the puzzling inventory crisis we are facing now. The discussion stopped around 9 p.m., the outcome, a piece of report to be presented to the big boss tomorrow. I’m lucky. I won’t be around tomorrow morning. Save me the agony of going through the drill.

Hubby sensed that I was distance, and detached. Sorry yang, I've got a lot on my mind lately...

Monday, 17 January 2005

Building learning partnership...

 “If one cannot enjoy reading a book over and over again, there is no use in reading it at all...” - Oscar Wilde

Human Resource and Development Centre organized a forum for all Deputy Directors and Training Managers. The objectives of the forum were to create greater partnership in learning among all stakeholders; to understand key responsibility in building meaningful partnership and to enhance understanding on linkages between learning and performance.

Tonight attended my class at Mesjid Negara after a very long vacation. I heard that we are getting a new Ustaz as our Ustaz will be posted in Kuching very soon.

Sunday, 16 January 2005

Seasons of my life...

“It's so hard to forget pain, but it's even harder to remember sweetness. We have no scar to show for happiness. We learn so little from peace.” - Chuck Palahniuk

(2003 - Family vacation in Sarawak...)

We ended up having breakfast just the two of us. None of the kids wanted to creep out of the comfort of their blankets. They rather starve than miss extra hours of sleep! I can’t blame them. Most probably they will miss all these leisure time when they get back to campus. Ironically, they still love to huddle and sleep together in the cramped study. Looking at them in their slumber touched my heart so much. I am going to miss them again soon.

Well, I've been afraid of changin'
'Cause I built my life around you
But time makes you bolder
Children get older, I'm getting older too…

Saturday, 15 January 2005

Twisted Puzzle...

“The pure and simple truth is rarely pure and never simple...” - Oscar Wilde

Hubby was already home when I came back from work. We had nasi briani for lunch with Sara and Iwan. Later had a good nap till late evening.

Tonight we decided to watch the movie Saw at One Utama. The movie is about a series of gruesome deaths orchestrated by a psychopath the police have nicknamed Jigsaw because his calling card is a bloody brand in the shape of a jigsaw puzzle piece left on his victims. This stylish thriller portrays a serial killer's twisted game and about escape, survival and the furious race against time.

After the movie, took Sara’s car from Subang and later had dinner at A&W. As tomorrow is Sunday, we can afford to sleep late again tonight.

Friday, 14 January 2005

Uncle Sam’s Invitation...

“Choose a job you love, and you will never have to work a day in your life…” - Confucius 

I was quite surprised when the management decided to send me to Washington D.C. end February to attend the '2005 Banknotes Seminar'. To be nominated to attend such seminars every year is quite an honor. Last year I attended the ‘2004 Currency Conference’ in Rome and the year before ‘2003 High Security Printing’ in Shanghai. The management has also approved for a few days attachment program with the FRB Richmond.

As the seminar date is nearing, a lot of administrative works need to be fast-tracked. The morning was spent finalizing travel arrangements and hotel bookings. The Corporate Services Department helped to arrange for Diplomatic Note from Wisma Putra then only submit application for US Visa on-line. The last time I was in the USA was in 1989 where I attended the ‘JP Morgan Reserve Management Seminar’ in New York. We spent almost a week on holiday after that in LA and San Diego.

Thursday, 13 January 2005

Power Disruptions...

“Give a man a fire and he's warm for a day, but set fire to him and he's warm for the rest of his life.” - Terry Pratchett
Last night when I was with Noraizan, I didn’t manage to reply to hubby's sms.

My battery went flat and when I got home it was too late to reply. It was not like me to leave the phone uncharged. First thing in the morning, I sms to apologize. Avoid unnecessary worries.

During the Senior Officers Meeting today, we experienced a temporary blackout. Thanks to the reliable generator, some of us didn’t even realize that there was a power failure. Later we found out that a few states were affected and this TNB hitch has caused quite a havoc. Stayed back late today to clear some backlogs and to observe counterfeit certification together with the Police.

Wednesday, 12 January 2005

Professional Nursing Standards...

“Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid.” - Albert Einstein

The Industry meeting was planned for the whole day.

The morning session was for the financial institutions whereas the afternoon session was for the cash handlers and retailers. Both sessions went smoothly and a lot of issues were discussed and thrashed out during the Q&A sessions.

Tonight I have a date with Noraizan. She’s here in KL for a week and staying at the Grand Seasons Hotel across the General Hospital. This Senior Florence Nightingale is here together with others from all over Malaysia to correct exam papers for student nurses. After Maghrib fetched her from her hotel and we had Tom Yam dinner at Sri Thai. She was shocked to see the bill. According to her, could have fed the whole family in the best restaurant in KB.

We promised to spend more time together the next time she is in KL.

Tuesday, 11 January 2005

Poised for success...

“We are what we pretend to be, so we must be careful about what we pretend to be.” - Kurt Vonnegut

Attended the focus group meeting organized by our HR department. We discussed a lot on understanding staff concerns, issues and problems related to HR services offering. A lot of issues discussed were based on bonuses and increaments. The company's remuneration and reward system will continue to be performance driven so that staff can be rewarded in an equitable and meaningful way, as we thrives towards becoming a performance and knowledge-based organisation.

Instead of voicing grouses, staff should take advantage of the vast opportunities and privileges before them to excel in performing their responsibilities for a rewarding and fulfilling career.

Wednesday, 5 January 2005

The best of Western Australia...

“The fool wanders, the wise one travels…” - a Welsh proverb

(5 - 9 January 2015)

We are going for a week holiday in Perth and have booked several tours to visit some of the attractions of western Australia...

My Travelogue: Perth Adventure 

Monday, 3 January 2005

Complexity made simple...

“I haven’t been everywhere, but it’s on my list…” - Susan Sontag

Faisal from the Travel Agent came to deliver the tickets and collect payment. I still need to submit details of our passports for visa purposes. Asked Linda to fax them by lunch time. By end of the day my visa was cleared but hubby's was rejected. According to the Travel Agent, his visa application was rejected by the system. After a phone call to the Australian Embassy and simple explanation accepted, he can collect the visa tomorrow.

I wish I could deal direct with Dilla on my travel arrangements. But she’s on holiday in Doha!

Sunday, 2 January 2005

Sporty and Sleek...

"And I want you to know that I am both happy and sad and I'm still trying to figure out how that could be...”


After late breakfast, we decided to go back to Melaka. Iwan wants to show off his new Gen2 to Tok Mak and Tok Abah before he goes back to campus. Sara and Saufi came along too. Called Mak to inform her that we will arrive after lunch. Save her the trouble to cook for us. Did some shopping at Mahkota Parade and bought a pair of boots. Lunch was at Kenny Roasters. Bought some muffins for Haikal.

Abah and Mak were happy to see us. Couldn’t resist Mak’s home cooked dishes even though we were still full. On the way back to KL stopped at Alamanda, Putra Jaya and did more shopping. Dinner at Rasa food court. The price was quite reasonable.

Hubby called from the airport late at night. His flight from Jakarta was delayed by 2 hours. I was happy to hear his voice. Missed him so very much.

Saturday, 1 January 2005

My New Year Wish...

“What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us.”

Last night when I was among best friends, we asked each other what we wish for the New Year. And for me, I don’t wish for anything new. I wish that all I’ve dreamed would eventually come true.

Perhaps a bit wiser, a bit kinder, too
a little bit braver, a heart that's more true
a touch of believing, I've not known before
in joys I'm receiving, a little bit more.

A little more anxious, to reach out my hand
despite hurt or problems, to still understand
accepting the heartache, that life often brings
a little more beauty, in life's simple things.