About Me

I am married to my loving husband for more than 45 years now. I am a mother to 3 beautiful children, until years ago when I lost my youngest son. Since then my life is forever altered but yet unbroken....

Friday, 24 February 2006

Resume normal life...

“Alone we can do so little; together we can do so much…” - Helen Keller


This morning Dr. Arumugam showed me the result of the Angiogram test. The x-ray images clearly showed a constriction of the vessel entering the heart that caused the blood not flowing properly. According to him the condition got nothing to do with high cholesterol level or high blood pressure– it is just my anatomy. I could’ve had this constriction since birth without me knowing about the defect. Doctor advised for me to resume normal activities and go on with life. Avoid stressful activities and take care of my diet. I was relieved with the result. My follow-up check-up will be in six months time.

Back in the ward, after the nurse checked bleeding at the insertion site and my blood pressure, I had a hearty breakfast and slept the whole morning…

Alhamdulillah…

Thursday, 23 February 2006

My Angiogram procedure...

“Success is going from failure to failure without losing your enthusiasm…” - Winston Churchill


We arrived at Pantai medical Centre before 9 a.m. Datuk Dr Arumugam briefed us of the procedure and explained the reasons for the angiogram. To see if there is a blockage or narrowing in a blood vessel that may interfere with the normal flow of blood through the body. I sign papers to allow the doctor to treat a blocked blood vessel without surgery at the same time the angiogram is performed. The risk of a heart attack during the procedure is 1 in a million. As I just had my full medical examination a week ago and based on the test results, there’s no need to perform blood tests to determine my blood’s ability to clot or to assess my kidney function. I am ready for the Angiogram procedure.

Early this morning the nurse called to remind me not to eat or drink anything within 6 hours of my Angiogram which is scheduled in the afternoon. I was warded in a single room, cozy with simple amenities and with a visitors’ adjoining room. The nurses prepared me for the operation. Once cleaned and shaved, saline and other medications were administered through IV to prepare for any allergic reactions.

At 2 p.m. I was rolled out of the room to the 1st floor. Hubby kissed me outside the operation room as he’s not allowed to be with me. Dr Arumugam and the radiologist were ready for me. The test took place in a room equipped with a specialized x-ray machine. The Angiogram could be done by inserting a catheter into the artery in the groin or in the arm. And I preferred it done through the arm. Before the insertion, the doctor applied local anesthetic to numb the area at my wrist and then made a tiny puncture to reach the artery with a hollow needle, later the doctor advanced a thin wire through the needle, threaded a catheter over the wire, and guided it to the desired location i.e. my heart.

While the procedure was carried out, images were projected on a video screen above my head to show the catheter as it moved through my arteries. Once the catheter was positioned properly, a contrast dye was injected. I felt slight shock, a brief, mild warm feeling as it entered my bloodstream. The doctor took more x-ray images to see how the contrast was flowing through my arteries. During the test, the doctor asked me to lie perfectly still to prevent sudden movements from blurring the x ray pictures. The procedure took over an hour, it was painful and uncomfortable. I was relieved when it’s over. The doctor removed the catheter and insertion site was pressed tightly to stop bleeding. The doctor explained the preliminary readings of the images and showed the area where my blood vessel was slightly constricted before it enters the heart. Tomorrow, I will know the full result.

After the test, I was rolled back to my room. Hubby was there waiting for me and I was glad to see him and informed him of the result. Although worried, he was relieved. The medical team monitored me throughout the rest of the day and night. I have to keep my punctured arm straight to minimize bleeding. I was asked to drink a lot of fluids to prevent dehydration and flush the dye from my kidneys.

During the night, hubby slept on the bed with me holding me close...

Wednesday, 22 February 2006

Fight my depression...

“Reality is frequently inaccurate…” - Douglas Adams

Linda has already fixed the appointment for my Angiogram Procedure and the GL was ready for collection. Although feeling depressed, I went on with work as usual. There were a lot of meetings to attend to and drafts to clear. By the end of the day I had cleared all outstanding matters and was very pleased with myself.
Tonight while holding each other close, I made hubby promise to take care of the kids if something bad is to happen to me. I know he doesn’t like me to talk this way but not knowing what to expect can be very frustrating and frightening.

I just want you to know that I love you very much, yang…

Saturday, 18 February 2006

Unburden my heart...

“You have to die a few times before you can really live...”- Charles Bukowski


We slept late again last night. The news about my heart condition has shocked the both of us. I was feeling very miserable and sad…

Early in the morning, after drinking a cup of Nescafe, not wanting to stay in the apartment and feel sorry for myself, I called up a friend to cheer me up. We met up at Ikea and later watched an old movie at 1-Utama.

Tonight, we drove back to our Bidara House. Iwan came home earlier after a date with Ella and Sara came much later after watching PGL- the musical with her friends.

Friday, 17 February 2006

Shocking news...

“We pretend to be strong because we are weak...” - Paulo Coelho


My medical result is out today. I reached Pantai medical Centre early. Went up to 7th floor before a nurse brought me to Block B. Datuk Dr Arumugam was on his round to check patients so I had to wait for a while. I was the first to see the doctor. Dr Aru took time to explain to me about the result. Overall, the result was good, better than last year. My blood pressure was normal. Cholesterol level was good. Mammogram and Pap smear test were normal. I was surprised that the cyst on my left breast has also disappeared. X-ray was ok and no abnormal findings from the abdominal ultra-sound.

But when it came to reading the result from the stress test, the doctor was cautious to read the result and took time to explain to me the reading from the ECG. The result shows that I have coronary artery spasm, which is caused by inadequate oxygen levels (ischemia) of the heart. The doctor explained to me that the affected arteries may either be blocked or constricted. He asked whether I have experienced any chest pain lately. Once or twice, as far as I could remember. According to him, spasm may be silent without symptoms but prolonged spasm may even cause a heart attack. He advised for me to undergo the Angiogram procedure for further evaluation before he could confirm my heart condition.

Back in the office, I headed to the CafĂ© for a lunch date with Zila. When asked about my medical result I told her of the complications. I couldn’t concentrate during the Section Head meeting and excused myself early to go home to be with dear hubby.

I was feeling helpless again…