Ja – 100 days...

"Maybe Allah has a bigger plan for us than we had for ourselves..."

Ja was born at 8 p.m. on Christmas Eve of 1985. Ja was my youngest of 3 kids. His sister Sara is 3 years older than him and his brother Iwan is 2 years older. My pregnancy with Ja was difficult. The doctor informed me that this will be my last pregnancy as my womb will not stand any more pregnancies after this. Similar to my pregnancy with my second son, Iwan, I was made to rest in bed during most months. Towards the end of the pregnancy I was put under CRIB, Complete Rest In Bed. The doctor has to put the shirodkar suture to strengthen a weakened cervix and to avoid complication during pregnancy. I was bleeding heavily throughout. And throughout the pregnancy I prayed to Allah to save my baby. I prayed for no complications during delivery. And I prayed for my baby to be healthy and steer clear of deformities, physically and mentally. From Allah I asked for nothing more…

Ja was born a healthy boy. Although he was dark, not as cute as his brother, Iwan and not as fair as his sister, Sara, he was handsome and good-looking to my eyes. Being the youngest and knowing that I would not have a chance to have another baby, my attention to Ja was profuse. Compared to the other two, Ja needed more coaching in school. Unlike Sara and Iwan, who always top their classes, Ja would always be among the average. Although a little slow in his study, especially in maths, his English was excellent.

When Sara went to Sekolah Tun Fatimah in JB and a year later Iwan went to Sekolah Sains Taiping, Ja was alone at home with us. He joined Institut hafiz until Form 3 and managed to recite 5 juzu’ al-Quran during his stint there. Later he came back to KL and finished his Form 5 in Sekolah Menengah Ideal Height. Ja made friends easily. In school he was a favorite among school mates and teachers. During his short period of schooling in Selayang, he made a lot of friends and became very attached to his brotherhood.

On 19 March 2006, while riding on his motorbike with his brotherhood to go camping in Ulu Yam, my beloved Ja met with an accident. His friend riding on another bike died on the spot. Another sustained serious injuries. Ja passed away during a five-hour operation on the same day at the age of 20…

Today is the 100th day after that fateful day…

And my heart is still heavy with sorrow…