"There is a saying: stupid neither forgive nor forget; the naive forgive and forget; the wise forgive but do not forget..."
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| (Pulau Tioman - 2003) |
I am most of the time stupid and at times wise but never naive. I am naturally a compassionate person, void of bitterness. I don't forgive, I just get even.
I suffered a dull sense of monotonous familiarity. An impression of having experienced something catastrophic before. At time like this I wish for my memory to be blank for this memory caused mental disturbances and would again drag me into a sense of helplessness, anger dissolved in the feeling of disbelief. Of being thrown into the abyss of dark pit where not a molecule of cell could survive. Where love replaces hatred, doubt replaces certainty, dream replaces reality. A betrayal of trust, shattering fragile emotions, wiping away precious shared happiness. A life replaced by bottled grief of emotional vacuum.
If this life is to be lived all over again, I would choose another more mundane and ordinary…
uhuh, but can we rewrite history?
ReplyDeleteIt is a burdensome thing when you care too much for the feelings of others, and knowing very well some do not have the ability to move on.
ReplyDeleteRe living the same scene is indeed tiring...what's worse is its gonna happen again
Of course you can’t rewrite history.
ReplyDeleteBut there will be a point of time when you start to question your own sanity and in a state of frustration when you recall back the story of your life. And realised that it has gone astray in a way that doesn't match your dreams.
I believe that this feeling is a sign of midlife crisis. Where our world gets turned on its head and we have no idea what’s going on. The sad thing is that generally we don't know the reason why, either.
If only we can take a step back, we may be able to deal with it in a more healthy way rather than take the blame on board...
It sounds familiar....mu
ReplyDeleteLife is too short, my friend.
ReplyDeleteIt may not be worth the while to be focusing all the attention on what is wrong and trying to understand how it got that way. Follow your instincts and remember to take care of yourself.
mu2, whoever you are… :)
Hold on to everything you have had. When you get to my age you know how much of HIS gifts you have been enjoying, and you begin to realise we own nothing and have no right over anything.
ReplyDeletePakcik
Pakcik
ReplyDeleteI am holding on strong to everything I have. My life just shifted to overdrive. I was on the fast track and on the verge of losing control of my focus. I am learning to let go of what no longer serves me. I just simply need to be contented or I’ll get dragged.
That is, I need to stop before I am derailed…