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I am married to my loving husband for more than 40 years now. I am a mother to 3 beautiful children, until years ago when I lost my youngest son. Since then my life is forever altered but yet unbroken....

Sunday 5 September 2010

My feet in the wishing well…

"All that is gold does not glitter; not all those that wander are lost... - J.R.R. Tolkien 

(Air Terjun Bekelah - 2007)

What agony have I inflicted on myself now?

Years ago when the children were younger, I reached a cross-road and forced to reflect after going through years of madness, juggling between work and life/love commitments, with months spent in an escalating state of imbalance. I was contemplating to drop everything then, leave the children behind and live alone on a remote island far away from people.

That time I was thinking of something that I wish was different in my life, perhaps with my relationship, my financial, my career, my physical, spiritual, or emotional health. I persevered, and my patience leads me to where I am now.

Whatever I just thought of, how long I have been wishing for it to be different, I am no longer willing to wait for it to be different than it is right now…

Throw down your gun, you might shoot yourself
Or is that what you're tryin' to do?
Put up a fight you believe to be right
And someday the sun will shine through.

You've always got something to hide
Something you just can't tell
And the only time that you're satisfied
Is with your feet in the wishing well…

7 comments:

  1. Kak Nong,

    Can I say that in our life some of us will go thru this moment? It is so familiar to me too.

    Salam Aidilfitri to you and family.

    U take care Kak Nong, and Love you..

    Anggerik Merah

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  2. Some of us have been there, right?

    I do not believe there are wrong or right choices. We can't know what the future holds. There are no guarantees.

    As much as I have struggled with making decisions in my life, I have listened more to my own intuitions. I have made choices that last a life time.

    Yes, I've made some poor choices, but along with those choices came challenges and opportunities that I would not have experienced otherwise.

    AM, Selamat Hari Raya Eidul-fitri to you and family.

    Hugs & love.. Take care.

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  3. er. macam kaki sara je tu. hehe :P

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  4. Sara,
    patut la... kalau kaki mak mesti slim sikit he he...

    Hari ni buka puasa di Summit, may bring hana along...

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  5. Kak Nong selamat hari raya. Semoga happy-happy selalu dengan famili tersayang.

    Hari tu siap mimpi jumpa akak.. haha apesaltah?

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  6. Joanna,
    Lama betul tak dengar berita! I hope everything is fine with you. How's the little one...

    Salam Eidul-fitri untuk Joanna and family. Mimpi kak nong? Most probably i am thinking of you too...

    Take care. Hugs...

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  7. Thank you, that was extremely valuable and interesting...I will be back again to read more on this topic.

    ReplyDelete