My feet in the wishing well…

"All that is gold does not glitter; not all those that wander are lost... - J.R.R. Tolkien 

(Air Terjun Bekelah - 2007)

What agony have I inflicted on myself now?

Years ago when the children were younger, I reached a cross-road and forced to reflect after going through years of madness, juggling between work and life/love commitments, with months spent in an escalating state of imbalance. I was contemplating to drop everything then, leave the children behind and live alone on a remote island far away from people.

That time I was thinking of something that I wish was different in my life, perhaps with my relationship, my financial, my career, my physical, spiritual, or emotional health. I persevered, and my patience leads me to where I am now.

Whatever I just thought of, how long I have been wishing for it to be different, I am no longer willing to wait for it to be different than it is right now…

Throw down your gun, you might shoot yourself

Or is that what you're tryin' to do?

Put up a fight you believe to be right

And someday the sun will shine through.

You've always got something to hide

Something you just can't tell

And the only time that you're satisfied

Is with your feet in the wishing well…